Mensa members like to get together. They met in a mega book store every Saturday morning when I lived in Las Vegas. They must have watched me watching them because one day they called me over and invited me to sit at their table. I was stunned, honored and tried to think fast like they do. I declined, thanking them for their friendliness. I didn't want to get in over my head, you understand. What if they gave me a written test?
I already knew what I was missing by not joining in. I mean, I had eavesdropped for weeks, hoping to catch a brilliant gem or two, but that never happened. The inanities I heard disappointed me. Their elected leader, Terry _____, never showed up. Most of them were angry with him for not paying his dues. Mensa conversations often centered on people's foibles and predicaments - not the lofty stuff one might expect. One member was a census taker who bored the group with detailed accounts of his day. Another expounded each Saturday on why two women in the kitchen is not a good idea.
Their IQs are higher than your bowling average, but their interests don't correspond with their vaunted intelligence. I'd heard that, "Small minds talk about people, average minds discuss events, and great minds debate ideas." That's bogus. This is not the case with the 15 or 16 members of Mensa that I observed at the book store and the other dozen I have known elsewhere.
You can't call them a secret group. They'll wait only a few minutes for you to ask, "Pardon me, but could you be one of those genius Mensa people?" I mean, they will slip you the news, if not by direct statement then by the tiny orange pins they wear on their lapels when they are out on the town. They are not intellectual snobs, but want to be identified for their mental prowess.
Still, it isn't easy to get inside the organization. A Mensa man told me the FBI once tried to infiltrate Mensa while hunting for a nuclear spy. Agent after agent failed to get through the gates. They gave up after matching wits with the perceptive people at Mensa. (The spy got away.) It isn't easy to fake intelligence. Maybe you know that.
Mensa membership is no bed of roses. Geniuses can be excommunicated for doing something stupid such as falling in love with a nonmember or for speaking before thinking. A few have been reprimanded for having know-it-all attitudes.
What do they have that we don't have? High IQs.
Thoughts While Jaywalking
* A usually reliable source claims that Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson was in town yesterday, and again pointed to the smog over St. George. He told doubters that they would see it when they believed it.
* Thou Shalt Not Loiter, according to St. George.
* Radio dude Michael Savage says, "Nobody can write like me." (And that includes I.)
* Osama bin Forgotten has four wives. How can this man hide forever?
* Go ahead, learn Spanish, but Chinese might open more doors for you.
* Al Gore told us that NAFTA would stop the flow of illegal immigrants.
Meeting and Events
Liars Anonymous meets every Saturday from 6 am until 11 pm at Kayenta Towers in Ivins.
The Conference of Displaced Snowbirds is scheduled for July 1 at Worthen Park.
Help wanted
Volunteers to work for a $10 million corporation. Must be willing to work hard. College degree preferred. References required. No smokers or drinkers. Call for an interview: 688-0044.
Washington County census taker to count the roundabouts. City car provided. Time and a half for overtime work.
Twenty-Years-From-Now News
Cazzie Taylor, the 8'4" Jazz rookie sensation, wants to be traded. He persists in staying home or in his hotel room to watch the first half on television. He insists that the second half is all the team needs of him to win. He'll play full games only if traded to Charlotte where he owns a bank, a shopping mall and a feng shui consulting studio.
IT'S ALL SO SIMPLE.
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