OPERATION WHOLE ENCHILADA

Millions of illegal immigrants in the United States and millions of Mexicans still in Mexico want to become American citizens. Other millions who came here plan to return home one day.

We can help them all.

We certainly need the millions already here to do those jobs which Americans apparently did not do before they came. Most of them are good people whose second generation will be more Americanized, as usually is the case.

The happy solution is annexation. If Mexicans now here want it both ways - dual citizenship with amnesty - they can have it. We deliver.

Immediate ciitizenship will be granted to all Mexicans once the U.S. Army crosses the border and liberates the people from one of the most corrupt oligarchist governments in the world. They'll throw flowers and cheer our soldiers, there will be dancing in the streets. Congress will grant statehood to each provincial state in Mexico. Steve Covey will call it a win/win situation.

Don't be bothered by the military conquest characterisics of this action. We're Americans. Folks kind of expect that. We can keep this one clean, with no CIA involvement. We're looking over a four-leaf clover that we've overlooked before. Let's hope the borders are just as porous going south as they are coming north. We'll be over; we're coming over.

Oh by the way, (I almost forgot) Mexico is oil-rich and the people work their heads off. The new USA will be self-sufficient in oil, the border problems will have gone poof, you can forget NAFTA, and the peso is passe. We'll all be working for the Yankee Dollar.

This might beat the The Louisiana Purchase. Mexico has rich agricultural land and mining deposits from sea to shining sea. The new America south of the border offers untold potential for peace and prosperity for U.S. citizens.

Okay padre?

~~~

Hot Stuff

* While you're drinking those six to eight glasses of water (doctor's orders) every day, think about how you'll be able to keep it up when another 300,000 thirsty interlopers move into Dixie. I mean, they're coming to America, destination St. George. Offer your ideas, your solutions, please.

* Dr. Steven Jones, former professor of physics at BYU, gave talks in our area last week. He presented his bold and enlightening claims of the circumstances of the World Trade Center atrocity on 9/11. Jones does not agree with our government's version, and his ideas are gaining respect. One would expect that a local newspaper would provide publicity when a giant such as Jones speaks.

* Most state legislature's (Utah's included) are not yielding to the big pharm monster, Merck, who has lobbbies promoting a new anti-cancer drug,Gardasil, for mandatory vaccination laws to cover young girls. Gardasil will be injected into every school girl in Texas, where the prevailing philosophy puts individual rights in last place. The next state to fall to the madness is Georgia.

* Utah Governor Huntsman is enthusiastic about his upcoming participation in a governors' conference on Global Warming. The guv ought to tell that to the Chinese, who are careless polluters. Everyday someone tells me that our governor speaks Chinese. Great. He can stop the carbon emissions in both China and Utah.

* The Spectrum's Ed Kociela had only one bad day. That was last Saturday. He wrote that those upset by rampant illegal immigration were actually racists on the inside. Ed, you can't always be right. We love you. Now go sit in the corner until we say, "time's up."

The Dixie Thinker is serious fun, but not for the snug and smug.

Meeting & Events

Former Vice President Al Gore will speak on Friday at 7PM in the convention hall at Starbucks. The topic is: "Where have all the UFOs gone?

Twenty-Years-From-Now news

Research and development engineers at ATT/3M demonstrated their all-in-one, miniaturized
gadget which is a composite computer, television, telephone, camera, and fax machine in a ring on your finger. Also, when removed from your finger, Atlas, can quickly change the oil in your car.

For Sale

* Psst. Social Security cards. Dime a dozen. Ancestor Square, 24/7 - under the No Loitering sign.

* Peace Patches. Fasten like a band aid to your forehead, and the war fever goes away in 10 minutes.

Help Wanted

Translator to serve as interpreter for proponents and opponents of school vouchers at Utah capitol.