DRAIN IOWA

Iowans flock to the lakes of Minnesota for water recreation, but this year the water came to them. It's too much of a good thing. The destruction and personal losses are heart-tugging. The governor says it's far from over.

FEMA? Forget them. Let's send volunteers to help those nice folks in Iowa. Next stop: River City, Iowa.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Sun Tanning

- Israeli archeologists uncovered date tree seeds that were at least 2,000 years old. One of the seeds was planted in a pot, and it sprouted in healthy fashion. This is highly significant, but I cannot explain why.

- Smog is over the city today. Or is it a mushroom cloud?

- Don't forget: Iraq War = oil.

Meetings & Events

- The Dixie Convention Center will host the National Association of Proof reeders at there annual gathering in July.

- A parade of special people (those in touch with their inner-selves and higher- beings) will proceed from Bluff Street at the freeway to Sunset on Saturday at 10 a.m. So if part of you wants to march, at some level, please register first. Have your papers ready.

- A new group is forming locally. It's based on intellectual prowess or its absence. STUPSA, counterpart of MENSA, was founded by an ex-communicated MENSA member who did something really dumb. A fellow Mensan ratted on him and that was that.

Help Wanted

Real people to replace Senators Bennett and Hatch. Must believe in Constitution and have no pompous airs.

Twenty-Years-from-Now News

- The peace ambassadors from Mars will visit Earth this month. Leaders of both planets want to prevent a repeat of the recent skirmish in space which resulted in lives lost on both sides. The Martian Prime Minister claims to desire peace and is willing to sign long term contracts with Exxon-Mobil and Chevron if they will hire Martian laborers.

- Now it's a proven fact now that humans don't have to eat to survive and be healthy. At least 50 scientists gave up food a decade ago, and appear strong and well. They benefit from large doses of daily sunshine and a spoonful of spirulina once in a while. Also, exercise in the form of swimming, jogging and jumping to conclusions is in their regimen.

Overheard at Only The Lonely

"So Bush is in France. There ought to be a law that elected dudes can't leave the country. Woodrow Wilson started this foolishness. Keep 'em all at home - governors, senators, mayors, etc. I can't go anywhere, why should they?"