STIMULUS STIMULATES

Surprise! Month of May economic index figures look favorable with an upturn in retail spending. The adopted brainchild of the Bush adminstration has already boosted the economy. Well, of course, President Franklin Deficit Roosevelt proved long ago that "priming the pump" by spending money that doesn't exist will put a happy smile on the thing called the economy. President Ronald Reagan exclaimed his love and devotion for FDR, and copied his "spend 'til you bend" practice. FDR was credited with ending the depression (although Tojo and Hitler did more by creating a war economy for us). Reagan is hailed for bringing the miracle - Reaganomics - to the land. Each president piled on the national debt.

When George McGovern campaigned for the White House in 1972, he pledged to send every American $1,000. Most folks scoffed at the "silly idea."

President George W. Bush is "Mr. Deficit," leaving Roosevelt and Reagan looking tight-fisted. W's stimulus package is a joy today, but we'll cry tomorrow when paying interest on the borrowed money. Future debates will focus on the amount of "free money" the guvmint will directly deposit into your friendly bank.

The concept of throwing money at a problem has become respectable in both major political parties. As President Richard Nixon said, "We're all Keynesians now."

Who says you can't spend yourself rich?

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Looking for a Blank Check

Folly and foolishness are among the top ingredients of self-government. The rampant ignorance of our American political economy is no accident, after a couple of centuries of our public schools not teaching the history, philosophy, principles, or theories of the subject. Our students are so devoid of economic knowledge and wisdom that they easily fall for propaganda when they are adults.

Help Wanted

Traveling salesman to peddle sodium fluoride (rat poison, you know) to municipal drinking water departments from Seattle to Miami. Easy sell, huge commissions, and the undying respect of the unsuspecting. Dentists will love you because their colleges convinced them that fluoridation saved teeth ( the colleges accepted grant money from the industry, but that's just the American way. ) Top pay for smooth-talking man or woman. Apply on line www.save/ teeth; ruin organs.

Overheard at the Bank in the Super Market

"How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks?"