NOT SURGE, SPLURGE

How could anyone not be relieved with the reduced killing in Iraq? For months, a civil war raged with American and Coalition forces caught in the middle. Then the famous surge was launched by our commander-in-chief. He sent 30,000 additional troops to add to the 120,000 already there. Well, what do you know? The fighting subsided and the civil war ended. The self praise and congratulations and boastings have filled the air ever since.

But wait, another factor entered in which was recently admitted but never received publicity. Our military stepped up its distribution of cash to combatants. Sort of a "Federal Reserve Notes for Peace" program. Several top Sunni Sheiks were paid top dollar to stop their forces from attacking Shiites, especially in Basra and Sadr City. With no exaggeration, we paid a few million here and several million there. Each soldier in the Sunni army of insurgents has averaged $300 per month from Uncle Sam. This was the case in at least six locations of Iraq. We bought the peace.

Call it Splurge. The vaunted Surge provided only a 20% increase in boots on the ground. Depositing millions of dollars into the right hands probably had much more impact.

We should recognize that Bush's stunning strategy of paying our enemies to stop their hostile actions far surpasses diplomacy as an alternative to fighting. $hock and awe. Bring 'em on $$$$. Mi$$ion accompli$hed.

$plurge. There's no blood spilled in a splurge.

It's all so simple.

Overheard At Only The Lonely

- "Yesterday, the president issued one of those executive orders to allow offshore drilling of oil. This man is slow, I mean backward. He just now thought of that? If I were the president, we'd be selling oil by now, not buying the stuff."

- "I don't follow the news but I recall that the Democrats won the last election, so I guess they ended the war like they said, huh? Tell me, did the enemy follow us home?"

Meetings & Events

- Claire Voyant, the internationally famous psychic will speak to her Dixie area followers in the main ballroom of the..........oh, you know.

- A party will be held to honor the 100th rider of the Sun Tran bus system. A prize of free rides for the month of August will be presented by our song-writing Senator Hatch, if he's not busy at the music awards. Watch for details.