DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT HISTORY

Be careful of what you "learn" from history books because much of it is false or twisted. Henry Ford said, "All history is bunk." Overstated, but true.

For instance, the history of wars is always written by the winners. You aren't told about the virtues and cases of Kaiser Wilhelm, Tojo, Hitler, Saddam, Mussolini, Noriega, and other legendary monsters.

A good citizen needs true and solid information to be well-informed. You have to check out several sources to get the straight scoop.

Or you can just call me.

It's all so simple.
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OVERHEARD at Slippery Slope Saloon:

"Bartender. I want an 'America on the rocks'."

"Too bad Putin can't be our president. He's an ex-KGB boss who knows all of our secrets and he knows Russia's, too. Plus, he thinks before he speaks. We need this guy."

"I've had some problems being recently divorced. For one thing, I have to finish my own sentences."

"We were intellectual opposites. She was intellectual, I was the opposite."

OVERHEARD at Only The Lonely Bar & Grill:

"Look at this. A pool table right by the door. This joint needs to hire a Feng Shui consultant."

"The divorce rate is down because so many unmarried couples are living together."

"I know for a fact: Rush really does have half of his brain tied behind his back."

"The CIA hired the Mafia in Cuba to kill Fidel Castro. That's how outsourcing got started."

"My brother-in-law is a Divine Delegate. That's above a Super Delegate."