TODAY, MARS. TOMORROW, THE WORLD

We're up there on Mars digging for ice and whatever else we might find. The space scientists hope to find signs of life or at least an atmosphere which can sustain life. But who knows? Minerals, timber, coal, natural gas, etc.

A rebirth of colonization is in the works. We'll send pioneers to the new land ( er, planet ) and look for riches beyond your fondest dreams. But, damn it all, we're broke. Where is Queen Isabella now when we need her?

The obvious solution is to buy some more paper and ink, and print the currency. Sell bonds to the Chinese and Saudis. In the long run, the benefits of a New America on Mars will flood the land with treasures, easily erasing the sky-high cost of the project.

We're Americans. Let's do it. We could send incorrigible convicts there, as the English did to Georgia and Australia. And what if we discover oil on Mars? Is it ours? Or shall we give it to Chevron and Exxon/Mobil? Tough decision, but we have time to think.

Every intellectual in the world ( Earth ) knows there are too many people walking around. Ted Turner says we should reduce the population to 250,000,000. Fine. We can deport illegal immigrants, criminals, movie stars, karaoke singers, neocons, CIA torturers, and various other undesirables to the War Planet. Global-warming preachers would be sent to a real hot spot. All of this would reduce Earth's human population by half.

We should colonize Mars now, before the Chinese swarm the place.

ll so simple.

Thoughts While in the Shower

Repetition rules. We get up, eat, work, visit, play, and go back to bed - repeatedly. These are the patterns of our lives, based on habits. Without good habits, you might miss out on some of that list, especially eating or working. Both success and failure seem to be determined by repetitive habits. Repetition can be your friend.

Help Wanted

Experienced space ship attendants for extended trips. Long layovers to be expected with minimal complaining. References required. Send resume to NASA.

Meetings & Events

The public is invited to a roundtable discussion regarding Feng Shui revisionism. It seems that many photo negatives published in books were mistakenly turned around. This would explain why things have not worked out very well for many of us. See you at the Main Library on Thursday at 5 p.m. We'll meet on the left side of the building this time.