NO LIBERTY, NO PEACE

Please click in again on Monday, January 5, 2009 for essays, humor and advice to former members of the middle class.


It's all so simple.

DRIVE ONLY FORDS

Of the Big Three auto makers, only Ford says, "Thanks, but no thanks" to billions of taxpayer dollar grants and loans. Ford has about $20 billion on hand and takes the high road by telling Uncle Sam it doesn't need the help.

That's big. Ford should reap the public's favor and respect. Americans should reward business skills and high principles with their patronage. See the USA in a Ford.

Meanwhile, the government in Sweden granted about $3 billion to its auto manufacturers, especially Volvo. This is an example of what Detroit is up against when it competes with foreign cars in the market place.

Our best solution to that unfairness is to restore tariffs on all products coming into the U.S. which compete with vital-precious-established industry. Tariffs have fallen out of favor because of a mistaken interpretation of history. They need to be revisited because they protect jobs and investors - and produce revenue.


It's all so simple.

THE MIDDLE CLASS IS IN CHINA

The recent news of middle class people demonstrating and rioting in China is startling. The Chinese are supposed to be poor, never middle class, (especially under communism).

Our middle class disappeared - now we know where they went.

They went with the factories we exported, the tariffs we dropped, the outsourcing we encouraged, and the borders we didn't seal.

China adopted a blend of capitalism and fascism. Some call it state capitalism. They keep their communism merely for the civil rights side of things, you know: squelching individuality, liberty, killing unwanted babies, smashing printing presses, and arresting worshippers.

The industrialization of China created a middle class, largely on the basis of factory orders from America. Now our purchases are falling, so the Chinese middle class is losing employment. We terminated them again - the middle class.

But we miss them. They shall return, and next time we'll treat them with more respect.

It's all so simple.

FED UP WITH THE FED

A month ago The Fed announced that it had given out two trillion dollars in loans to unidentified recipients. This privately-owned corporation, posing as part of our national government, refuses requests for information regarding the transaction.

Citizens who care also want to know where these pseudo-patriots got the money and did any of it go to foreign banks of firms?

How will we learn the truth? Why the silence? Where are Hatch, Bennett and Matheson? Apparently, they're afraid to face up to the swindlers. And where are The Spectrum, The Wall Street Journal or the guy with half of his brain tied behind his back?

I mean holy $&*%$#@*.


Sometimes it's not all so simple.


Meetings & Events

Weekly meetings of Dixie Tailgaters and High Beamers will resume on the first Tuesday in January. Meanwhile, keep doing what you do best.

Overheard at Slippery Slope Saloon

"Bush was in Iraq this week. Did the terrorists follow him home?"

NEW NEW DEAL

It's yesteryear all over again. An in-coming president scolds the out-going administration for causing a failing economy. He blames the latter's reckless spending, and then embarks on a similar but more massive plan. It's FDR revisited.

But unlike Roosevelt's "Nothing to fear but fear itself," the new leader tells us we have rough days ahead of us, and "things will get much worse."

One thing that has us all feeling more secure is Barrack's promise to not smoke in the White House. President Clinton didn't either, did he? That would rise to the level of impeachable.

Pay attention because you'll soon learn whether a nation can spend its way out of an economic recession/depression.You already know the answer, but the smooth-talking folks you elected need your guidance. Tell it to them straight.


It's all so simple.


Overheard in the back room at Frenchy's Cafe

"Slick Willie will be the new senator from New York. Now the fun begins."

"I wonder how many of those half million workers who lost their jobs last month had two jobs."

"I can believe anything now. I saw a picture of President Bush and Barbra Streisand kissing. Or maybe their doubles did it."

IT'S MIND BLOGGING

A health-advising, radio talk hostess broadcasting in St. George declared that vegetarians don't live as long as meat eaters, and God put sub-human creatures here for us to munch on. Listeners to talk radio have learned to stay calm when they hear falacious statements, so we didn't cuss or scream. We only winced.

Every study ever made supports the widely held belief that vegetarians outlive tbe beaf eaters. Also, they are healthier with much lower rates of cancer, heart disease and kidney failure.

As for Our Creator putting animals in the world to sustain us, we ask: "Does that include gorillas, scorpions, roaches, crocodiles, lizards, and mice?" Which Bible passage has a menu? Joseph Smith and Brigham Young had reservations (not in steak houses) about any kind of meat. The Word of Wisdom suggestion to eat meat "sparingly" is less popular than the warnings against wine, tobacco and hot drinks.

Dine on fruits, vegetables, grains, herbs, and nuts.


It's all so simple.

TIMID AUTO EXECS BEFORE CONGRESS

Sure, it's an obscene scene for America's proud chariot makers to go begging for taxpayers' money. But worse is the lack of self-respect these chief executive officers displayed when confronted by the lawyer-types in Congress who've never met a payroll, prepared a budget or changed a tire.

When scorned for flying private jet planes to Washington, at least one of them should have said: "A top executive's time is worth big money and precious to his company. Do you really believe he should sit in airports while waiting to fly commercial? Would you then ask why we fly first class? Senator Klaghorn, we fly on private planes to save work time for ourselves and our employees. Did you think we just want the comfort?

In 1957, General Motors president Charlie Wilson declared that, "What's good for GM is good for America." He wasn't vain or arrogant. He was right. Since then, you esteemed lawmakers have dropped tariffs on foreign-made cars, thus striking a blow against one of your nation's top industries. Also, the hefty revenues gathered by those tariffs had to be recovered by tax increases on our people.

Give them the money. Stop acting like it's gold or silver.


It's all so simple.


TWENTY-YEARS-FROM-NOW NEWS

Fidel Castro, the venerable ruler of Cuba, celebrated his 102nd birthday today by making a seven-hour speech extolling his place in history. Seated in the front row at Karl Marx auditorium was Elian Gonzales, the heir apparent if - heaven forbid - anything ever happens to the Maximum Leader. Gonzales quickly moved into favor after Fidel's estranged brother, Raul, defected to Miami years ago. When asked "To what do you attribute your longevity in life and politics?" Fidel replied: "I always tried to be kind to everyone, quit smoking Havanas at age 75, and stayed fit by dodging CIA hit men."

SEVEN OR EIGHT TRILLION, HO HUM

That kind of rounds it off after yesterday's 4.6 trillion. We're talking economy and bailout rescue cash and credit, don't you know?

There has never been a more urgent need for a public clamor for information and explanation of the actions of these financial powers who assume authority to act in our name.

Who are the people doing this and what are they up to? To think that The Fed can toss around two trillion dollars and refuse to name the recipients ought to jar the complacent and apathetic folks who populate this land. But that's not all - they doubled down, twice.

The dollar is being defaced by wild and unbacked currency creation. Our creditors have to wonder.

In the Great Depression, The Fed virtually killed the economy's recover by retracting the supply of currency. Now, in this time of credit freezes, job losses and investors' panic, The Fed goes far beyond too far in the other direction.

Intervention is much worse than inaction when it comes to markets and corrections in the economy. The guvmint should keep its filthy hands off.

Meanwhile, call the cops, wring your senator's neck, storm the Bastille, do something.

It's all so simple.

$700 BILLION MORPHED INTO $4.5 TRILLION

First, they (Paulson and Bush) came for 700 billion bucks. Next, the Fed announced that it had gone ahead and spread two trillion Federal Reserve notes to entities not identified - probably foreign banks. Now, the figure has risen to a total of four and one half trillion smackeroos.

And you thought it was your country; that Congress is the power; and talk of secret deals (conspiracies) is nuts. Please assign staff to look into this and have your people call my people.

Is it time to move to China? Or should we move on Washington?

Let's just abolish the Fed, return to gold money and shoot the 50 worst Congresspersons every year, as H.L. Mencken suggested.

It's all so simple.

WE DOTH PROTEST TOO LITTLE, ME THINKS

Our president tells us to support the bailouts because "your hometown bank might be in trouble."

Our president elect calls our economy "the worst in a century" and insists "things will get worse before getting better."

This shallow pair has scared many of us into actions which will fulfill their dire observations.

Even the not-too-swift Franklin Delano Roosevelt, a president whose nation was already in a real depression, knew enough to calm the people. "All we have to fear is fear itself," he said just before he turned around and installed a frightful New Deal.

Now the meddling begins. Guvmint will attempt to fix this and then correct that. They almost admit they don't know what to do, but they can't resist doing something.

Free enterprise was never free enough. It has a nature of cycles, brief and not deep, which are self-correcting. But the neosocialists don't have faith in freedom.

A Pressident Ron Paul would have had this crisis over by now, by adopting laissez faire policies.

It's all so simple.

AUTO MAINTENANCE

America has neglected its major industry. That would be automobiles, which comprise about one seventh of our economy, if you include related enterprises such as auto parts, fuel, etc.

In our penchant quest for national economic suicide, we dropped tariff protection on Henry Ford's invention.

Tariifs were great revenue producers before income taxes became the rage. Why shouldn't a nation protect its favorite, most exotic product against foreign competition which employs "coolie" labor costs plus sneaky government subsidies? Doesn't fair play mean anything?

Factories - especially car makers - are jewels on the American landscape. As they tend to disappear, for many despicable reasons, we should treat them with care.

The bad guys are trying to give "protectionism" a bad name. The opposite of protection would be neglect. We have a national duty to protect people and companies which provide jobs and advance our civilization. Sure, the American consumer pays more this way, but those are the costs you see. The hidden costs of lost industries are far greater.

Tariffs are the answer. We have tariffs to save our steel industry, why not for Buicks, Lincolns and Dodges?

Outlaw union strikes and add $3000 duties on every foreign-made chariot landing at our seaports. Forget the bailouts.

It's all so simple.

Overheard at Only The Lonely

"So the blog is back, huh?"

"You mean Dixie Thinker?"

"Whatever. Now they call it No Liberty, No Peace."

"Ya, that will last about two months."

"Two weeks."

Meetings & Events

At downtown library next Tuesday at 3 pm - English Immigrants Support Group demanding left turns on the roundabouts.

Free tea daily at Frenchy's to: "Welcome back, Snowbirds. We hope you remembered to bring your cash (Euros and Yen)."

In Town Square: Tug of war between gays who want to marry versus straights who want to live together in sin. No television coverage will be permitted.

HYPOCRITES EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK

Columnist Maureen Dowd was mentioned by The Spectrum's editor, Todd Seifert, as a prospective balance to the unbalanced Charles Krauthammer's anticipated addition to the editorial page.

Not really. Dowd is already writing her let's-get-the-cold-war- warmed-up-again columns in national papers. She blames Russia for the fighting and crisis in Georgia without even mentioning how Georgia came in shooting and killing the Ossetians they claimed to love. Georgian forces also killed 10 Russian peacekeepers who worked in Ossetia under international auspices. Refugees fled into Russia for safety.

Ossetia has never been a part of Georgia, and they refuse demands that they join the nation. Ossetians have had close ties to Russians, who have demonstrated sympathy with them for more than 15 years.

The attack by the Russian military on Georgia's invading army was natural and normal.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Hang Gliding

Several friends and relatives have noticed the absence of radio talk hosts who express sentiments against war, big oil, lobbyists, tax cuts only for top earners, our carefree health care system, corporate welfare, bank bail-outs, empire building, and deficit spending.

What's the reason for the one-sided broadcasts? I had believed that the public was not interested in anything but conservative and neocon prattle. Now, I've discovered the ownership situations in the news outlets. Major corporations hire the Seans, Rushes, Glenns, and Ollies to say what the corporations want said.

Overheard at Slippery Slope Saloon

"Senator John McCain said he doesn't know how many houses he owns. No more for me, bartender. I'm feeling kind of weak."

FRESH COLUMNISTS AT THE WAR PAPER

Editor Todd Seifert writes that he's considering adding Charles Krauthammer (aka Dr. Strangelove) to the editorial page of The Spectrum. Shock & awe - mostly shock.

I've been futilely chiding the hometown paper to inform us on the sanctions, depleted uranium, Blackwater security operations, and the new oil law written by our state department for the Iraq government. If Krauthammer ever mentions those, chances are he'll be in favor of them.

Many readers are still reeling over Senator Orrin Hatch's visit to The Spectrum. The senator claims we went to war to protect Israel. NOW, he tells us, six years after he voted to let our president attack for other reasons. Did the editors scold Hatch? Can a shrimp whistle?

The column by Spectrum's world-affairs-expert-for-20-years writer glorifies war enough without bringing in the ultimate jingoist. The editor plans to balance out this unbalanced writer with another columnist - probably Maureen Dowd.

Not enough. Pray for peace.

It's all so simple.

RON PAUL / RALPH NADER. THAT'S THE TICKET.

They both oppose war and intend to reduce self-serving corporate influences. Both know what they believe, with conviction. Paul and Nader would reform national health care. Yes, the former would encourage more freedom and alternative solutions; the latter would nationalize it. Either way would be better than the mess we have now which is riddled with graft, injustice and falling care.

A Paul-Nader team in the White House would deliver peace, balanced budgets, economic integrity, and confidence in the American people.

Paul and Nader; Peace and Prosperity.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Watching Truth Slip Slide Away:

The beat goes on. The armed forces of the nation of Georgia attacked its breakaway provinces of S. Ossetia and Abkhazia, which border Russia. A similar operation was undertaken years ago, and resulted in Russia sending in a permanent peacekeeping force under the auspices of an international agreement.

The breakaway provinces, especially Ossetia, declared their own independent nationhood at the same time as Georgia, when the Soviet Union fell apart. Georgia would not recognize Ossetia and Abkhazia as independent states, and became violent about it. The two provinces turned to Russia for recognition, trade and support. While broiling for about a decade, the situation was calmed by the presence of Russian peacekeepers and the expressions of friendship from Russian leaders such as Putin.

It was the Georgians who started the fighting and shooting this week. Georgian attacks killed 10 Russian civilians, peacekeepers who were there to prevent violence. Russia moved in to deny Georgia's annexations and to rescue its own people.

Instead of starting Cold War II, we should dig into the motives of Georgia's strange actions. The Georgian army was trained by American and Israei advisers. Hmmm.

Meetings & Events

The Dixie Pessimists' Club invites the public to Frenchy's to hear this month's speaker reveal the truth about growth, crime, water shortages, traffic, and affordable housing - which all are beyond solving. Reservations are required so call today, if it's not already too late. Seven pm on Tuesday.

SAD HISTORY

Hey, I found my way back from the tender trap they call San Diego. I know, you didn't miss me or call 911. It's okay, at least I escaped. More than a million people are permanently stuck there, with the lazy weather, the pounding surf, the addicting good feeling, etc. Whew!

Back in reality, I overheard four men talking - no, arguing - about why we attacked Iraq. What other war in our pretty noble history raises questions like this? One of the men in the discussion said, "It wasn't oil. We really thought they had WMD, so we had to go in there."

Another guy said, "We have to protect Israel. We were concerned that Saddam would go after them."

The third dude said, "I just believe we needed more bases in the area to insure peace and protect our interests. We have bases in Germany, Japan, Korea, and about 50 other spots. But we had very little power in the Middle East."

They wear me out. It's oil. Remember, the war was for oil. American and British companies drilled and pumped Iraq's oil before Saddam. Then he kicked them out. Now, Exxon, Chevron and British Petrol are back in Iraq, big time.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Looking for my Wallet

- Did you know that the president said he gave up chocolates because of the war? A few months later, he told the press that he'd given up playing golf because of the war.

- Suddenly, Iraq is back burner; Afghanistan is on the front; Iran is about to go into the oven.

- Friends, enemies and the undecided have insisted I clarify my recent remarks about our national currency. Here goes: Unbacked money is ultimately worthless and should be spent immediately upon receiving, before others realize how worthless it is.

Meeting & Events

- "Volunteers to leave Dixie" will meet Tuesday at 2 pm in the Convention Center. A large gathering is desired because this growth thing has gotten out of hand.

- Dr. Ira Longterm, economist, will speak on the prospects of paying people to emigrate from Dixie, thus mitigating the water problem. The project for a water pipeline from Lake Powell could be scrapped, and some of the $1,000,000,000 saved could be paid to those who get out of town. The public is invited to the talk to be given at the airport waiting room tonight at 7 pm.

START SPREADING THE NEWS

The recession is over. They never do last very long, which is the reason many folks don't know about them until they're gone. Yup, we had one and it pinched a bit. But the good days have returned, so it's back to our lattes, dinners and extravagances which employ so many good Americans and immigrants, keeping us out of another recession. You should tell any of your friends who've lost the faith that happy days are here again.

Maybe you haven't heard: our money is actually debt-based. We have to keep the stuff circulating. It's funny money; call it magic paper. You can't redeem it for anything, however, as long as people feel good they'll keep on feeling good.

What recession?

You heard it here first.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Waiting In Line:

The province of China that had the mammoth earthquake several weeks back counts five million homeless victims. They don't have a recession, either. And it's not a depression in China. The situation is a desperate life-or-death struggle to survive without shelter or provisions.

Overheard At Frenchy's

"How come these million dollar babies in the major leagues chew bubble gum?"

"Why is a foul ball in play in a baseball game?"

"What's with these candidates for president who walk around with their hands in their pockets. Ain't they got no class at all?"

Meeting & Events

The public is invited to a lecture at the main library, Friday 6 pm. A speaker from the Soul Travel club will address the Dixie Metaphysical Society on the topic: "Where to leave your body while you're out of it, so you can find it when you return."

NOT SURGE, SPLURGE

How could anyone not be relieved with the reduced killing in Iraq? For months, a civil war raged with American and Coalition forces caught in the middle. Then the famous surge was launched by our commander-in-chief. He sent 30,000 additional troops to add to the 120,000 already there. Well, what do you know? The fighting subsided and the civil war ended. The self praise and congratulations and boastings have filled the air ever since.

But wait, another factor entered in which was recently admitted but never received publicity. Our military stepped up its distribution of cash to combatants. Sort of a "Federal Reserve Notes for Peace" program. Several top Sunni Sheiks were paid top dollar to stop their forces from attacking Shiites, especially in Basra and Sadr City. With no exaggeration, we paid a few million here and several million there. Each soldier in the Sunni army of insurgents has averaged $300 per month from Uncle Sam. This was the case in at least six locations of Iraq. We bought the peace.

Call it Splurge. The vaunted Surge provided only a 20% increase in boots on the ground. Depositing millions of dollars into the right hands probably had much more impact.

We should recognize that Bush's stunning strategy of paying our enemies to stop their hostile actions far surpasses diplomacy as an alternative to fighting. $hock and awe. Bring 'em on $$$$. Mi$$ion accompli$hed.

$plurge. There's no blood spilled in a splurge.

It's all so simple.

Overheard At Only The Lonely

- "Yesterday, the president issued one of those executive orders to allow offshore drilling of oil. This man is slow, I mean backward. He just now thought of that? If I were the president, we'd be selling oil by now, not buying the stuff."

- "I don't follow the news but I recall that the Democrats won the last election, so I guess they ended the war like they said, huh? Tell me, did the enemy follow us home?"

Meetings & Events

- Claire Voyant, the internationally famous psychic will speak to her Dixie area followers in the main ballroom of the..........oh, you know.

- A party will be held to honor the 100th rider of the Sun Tran bus system. A prize of free rides for the month of August will be presented by our song-writing Senator Hatch, if he's not busy at the music awards. Watch for details.

WHAT'S THIS SOCIALISM?

In this United States of America, you think of banking and mortgage houses and brokerage firms as citadels of capitalism. So guess what happens when the going gets rough.

SOCIALISM.

They call in Karl Marx and the government bail-out crew to save them.

The free market would work, if we'd only try it sometime. The wise investors would win fortunes and the reckless ones would lose their shirts, at least. That would be free enterprise. But Americans who boast about it the most apparently don't really believe in it.

No wonder the poor people in this country don't want to pay taxes.

The government didn't bail out the small hardware stores and drug stores when Wal-Mart (subsidized by sweetheart deals with municipalities) came to town and used predatory pricing procedures to erase them.

No one rushed in to help mom and pop in the corner grocery stores when they were eaten alive by Krogers, Albertsons and Safeway.

The monster federal government isn't interested in you if you're small. I know a man who had seven employees and was turned down for a loan by the Small Business Administration. They told him, "Your business is too small."

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Sharpening My Pitchfork

We're going to wait 'til the midnight hour. You know the signal. When you receiveth it, goeth to the warehouse, and lock and load. The key is under the mat. Giveth them a chance to surrender.

Overheard At Frenchy's

"Whatever happened to Randolph Scott?"

Help Wanted

Commissioned gringo salesmen to market ladders ( 52 footers ) to future immigrants south of the new border wall in Arizona. Protected territories, huge demand, pay in pesos. Apply in person at construction site. Must be bilingual ( Spanish and Chinese.)

GUVMINT SNOOPS

Stop calling me. They're bugging my phone. Don't write to me either because I'm sure they're opening the mail. Meet me in the park or in my car.

The Senate approved The Great Dictator's request for still more wiretapping. (Our own Orrin Hatch was at the lead for this latest affront to our liberty.) What happened to the big-talking candidate? Well, he's no different, he went along with the fascist gang. Both Orrin and Obama voted against your privacy.

But we called him out on strikes months ago.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Changing A Tire

- The subject of foreign aid has been a touchy topic for years. Surprising to learn that the governments of Sweden and Japan give away far more money to needy nations than we do (on a per capita basis.)

- Let's see now. More than three million Iraqis have fled the country to become refugees in Jordan. Another 150,000 have died in the war. We killed one and one-half million young and elderly Iraqis with our 11-year blockade sanctions on food and medicine. Please add up the terrible total, I don't want to.

- My bank is giving away free popsicles to anyone who opens an account. I am so moved by this that I find it impossible to comment. There must be something here I don't comprehend.

Meetings & Events

Coalition support group for the persecuted minorities of Dixie meets on Saturday afternoons in Smith's parking lot. We're talking loiterers, scooter riders, the childless, tailgaters, jaywalkers, tatooed folks, and clueless people.

NO MORE SOUTHERN GOVERNORS

We'll have to change the Constitution to amend the qualifications for president, and bar governors from the South. If we had done this, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush would have been precluded, excluded and eluded.

If this proposal is debated, we'll be elated, inflated and satiated.

The heat in Georgia, Arkansas and Texas fries the brain, causing leadership qualities to melt too much for consideration as president.

Heat poses no such problem in Utah, Nevada and Arizona because it's a dry heat.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Jogging

In about 200 days the lame duck will be a dead duck.

Overheard at Frenchy's

"Isn't that Glenn Beck at the end of the bar?"

"Nah, he's just some omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent chatter box."

Twenty-years From Now News

The Olympics Committee has accepted the bid of St. George, Utah to host the 2032 summer games. City officials are making plans to curtail the smog and move the loiterers out of sight before the throngs of international travelers arrive.

Meetings & Events

- Support group for folks who don't have a support group will hold its first meeting in the library on Tuesday evening.

- Clock Watchers support group meets Wednesdays at Holiday Inn. Watch for time and date.

-

SOME LIKE IT HOT

Some people can't tell friends from enemies, natural from synthetic, merger from hostile takeover, waterboarding from surfing, up from down, inflation from rising prices, love from like, democracy from republic, eloquent speech from psychobabble, desert from deseret or dessert, and global warming from summer.

Meetings & Events

What Do Codgers Want Expo will feature speakers and exhibits focusing on the false perceptions of most "whipper snappers." The big question is: "Doesn't everyone lose their keys?"

Overheard At Slippery Slope Saloon

"My new neighbor moved to St. George five weeks ago, and already he's out there marching in parades to stop the growth."

ALIEN NATION AND ALIENATION

Society watchers have noted for decades that Americans are becoming more and more alienated from one another. This brings problems by the bunch. Loneliness, rejection, resentment, anger, indifference, withdrawal, isolation, and miscommunication are some of the negatives.

Add in our new alien nation situation and we have still more alienation. People need to integrate. Immigrants keep to themselves too much for their own good or for the rest of us.

We can all be more inclusive, less exclusive.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Loitering

- Let's hope the government doesn't create a Department of Alienation Corrections or start a War on Alienation. We can fix this problem (and most others) without the government.

- The heat's got me, but this is not global warming. This is summer.

Meetings & Events

- The greatest debate of the season will be held at the E'ola Convention Center. (Make that Dixie.) The Democratic candidate for president will exchange ideas with his Republican opponent. Bart Anderson will be the moderator for the dust-off between Senator Barack Tweedledee and Senator John Tweedledum on July 5, Saturday at 7 p.m. Tickets at the door. No loiterers, ticket scalpers, green people, anti-war protesters, global warmers, envirowackos, bloggers, sandal clodders, home schoolers, tailgaters, please.

- March with us in the parade on Main Street on Friday evening. STOP THE GROWTH. Join with us, you newcomers.

SWIMMING IN THE GUVMINT POOL

Kanab is the focus of another debate over city rules. A few years back it was gayism (our term) and people came forward to take a stand - both ways.

This new issue is about skimpy-little-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot bikinis. First, the city council said "You can't dress like that at the municipal pool." Then the bare skin crowd got organized and gave the council members a dressing down. The rules were amended and now less is more. The city doesn't have much to show for it.

The debate is about swim suits, but it ought to be about the pools themselves.

Why do city governments build and maintain swimming holes? What has that to do with preserving the liberties or protecting the lives of the citizens? Golf courses, recreational facilities, art museums, and municipal pools would be private industries (taxable) if the governments had not inserted themselves as virtual monopolies.

If municipal pools are to be, then let's get city socialism into bowling lanes, yoga studios, book stores, and fast food.

Governments and religions should not compete with their members.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Meditating

Supreme Court rules in favor of our owning guns. Guns were called "equalizers" back in the forties. (I was there.) The glorious and noble equalizers give a fair chance to an aging grandmother in a dark parking lot no matter how fierce the hood is.

The American colonists owned equalizers before the War for Independence. If King George had imposed gun control, there would have been no Lexington and Concord.

Three cheers for the equalizers.

Meetings & Events

Support group for Divorced Folks Who Admit They Were The Problem. Every Saturday night from 8 pm until whenever. Dixie Bar and Grille, the small table over by the air conditioner.

Unplanned Parenthood will have a picnic in Worthen park, Saturday noon. Speakers will address the issues of emotional impacts - surprise, panic and euphoria. Call 688-0245 if you need a baby sitter.

Help Wanted

Poop Abatement Engineer is needed for our city parks (where the dog is king.) Job description: "Undo what the dogs do so that little kids can play soccer and softball without slip sliding away." Must be fast worker - only an hour between dog time and game time. No complainers need apply, please see your negligent mayor for an application.

Overheard At Only The Lonely

"I'm holding my money. Waiting. When the stock market hits its low, I'll jump in and ride it to the top."

"Everytime President Bush shows his face at some disaster, he rolls up his sleeves. The symbolism brings tears to my eyes."

TOO LATE TO VOTE?

Many citizens don't vote because they think it doesn't matter, that the government is too big to care what voters want. They suggest that all of the candidates are the same, and no positive changes result from voting. Also, they claim politicians break promises regularly, so what are you going to do?

A bumper sticker says Don't Vote, It Only Encourages Them.

Thinkers' Guide's answer to this monumental problem is to vote for Congress as a group instead of as individual representatives. Tie their paychecks to their performances as a whole. If you want details on the mechanics of this plan, give me a call. If a Democrat or Republican answers, hang up the phone.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Jaywalking

H.L. Mencken had an idea on today's subject. He said, "The only way to make our system of government work is to shoot the 50 worst Congressmen every year." That's an idea who's time has come.

Overheard At Slippery Slope Saloon

- "The reason the government let gas prices run up so high is to prevent us from marching on Washington to stop wars, deficit spending, corruption, and bureaucratic meddling. I mean, how are we going to get there at $5 a gallon?"

- "My wife's brother says he knows where Osama bin Laden is hiding, but he won't divulge the information unless someone important asks him for the information."

Meetings & Events

The We-Miss-The-Snowbirds support group meets in the back room at Frenchy's every Monday from 6 pm to 9 pm. Internet chat friends are contacted each week.

The parade to honor censored has been cancelled for lack of interest.

OIL SPURTS TO THE SURFACE IN IRAQ

The puppet government in Iraq announced no-bid contracts to several oil companies, including Exxon-Mobil and Chevron. There will be more news to come out, and we're telling. Our state department, headed by former Chevron executive Condi Rice, assisted the Iraqi lawmakers in writing the new oil law.

Alan Greenspan said the war on Iraq was about oil; Vice President Cheney tells us it was for oil and Israel.

The truth is emerging now, and the oil slicks are exposed for all to see.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Roaming

The dangers of brain damage from cell phones has been recognized for years. As time goes by, the dangers are still present, but public concern is reduced because more and more people have too much brain damage to comprehend the problem. Hence, the problem is no longer a problem because the victims don't mind.(No pun intended.)

Meetings & Events

- A new group is forming to stage a parade demanding another "stimulus check" from Uncle Sam. "That few hundred bucks was a joke. I paid back taxes with mine," said parade organizer George McGovern.

- Sons and Daughters of Survivors of Prohibition will meet at Only The Lonely on the third Tuesday of the seventh month (July) of leap years. Prepare to hoist a toast.

Help Wanted

Rickshaw pullers for downtown area. Roundabout driving experience helpful. Loiterers need not apply.

BACK BY UNPOPULAR DEMAND

The blog is back. Explaining why doesn't work. Anyway, who cares why people such as I do what we do?

This is not the first time Thinker has kicked the soil off the casket and climbed out.

Thoughts While Tying My Shoes

The party's over. Those brilliant Republicans are about to offer the voters a candidate who wanted to be John Kerry's running mate just four years ago. McCain threatened to join the other party several times. He often votes against his party's stated position. George Washington warned against political parties and believed them to be harmful to the republic. They might be okay for a democracy, but who wants to live in one of those?

Overheard Upstairs At Frenchy's

"Wouldn't it be something if the recession makes folks eat less and less, so that they get skinny and live so long that they drain the Social Security funds so much that the recession shifts into a depression? Give me another "on the rocks."

HelpWanted

Exciting new business in town needs transportation technicians to drive tourists and other happy people from place to place. As a Rickshaw Man, you must be strong, know the territory and keep smiling. The economic scene has changed. This is the wave of the future, so ride the wave. Call for an audition and tryout. (435) 688-0245

Outrage Department

The Chinese government admits it held an American POW from the time he was a teenager in the Korean War. The man died and was buried in China.

Overheard at Slippery Slope Saloon

"I saw a picture of Fidel, and he sure didn't look dead. Those rumors were false. The man is eternal, for the ages. He lived through dozens of CIA and Mafia hit tries. I'm not going to worry about that guy."

THE BLOGGER LEFT THE BUILDING

Writing books takes so much time that I shall deblog, and remain grounded until further notice.

If you want a free copy of my book, No Liberty, No Peace," just give me a call (435) 688-0245 or e-mail jpaskeroth@yahoo to tell me your mailing address.

Thanks.............Jerry

IT'S THE STUPID ECONOMY

My perceptive friend insists that the average American is coping with high gas prices by shaving the grocery budget. This might be wise because food prices are rising faster than gas, in many cases.

Most of us have part-time jobs now, in addition to the day job. The job of "corner cutter" can be well paid, depending on the situation and your will power.

Meanwhile, plant a garden. Paint your own house. Take in a roomer. Buy a second-hand scooter. Slice up your credit cards. Wear yesteryear's clothes. Vote for real conservatives (classical liberals.)

It's all so simple.

Meetings & Events

- Snowbird Envy Club meets on Saturday afternoons throughout the summer at Worthen Park. If you survive this season, you can look forward to flying north for next summer.

- Restless Leg Support Group - men only - meets at Frenchy's, Tuesday evenings at 8 pm. The Ladies Restless Leg Group kicks up its heals at the Eureka in Mesquite tonight and every night.

Help Wanted

Someone to drive me to work, then to lunch, and back home again. Must have own car and be able to prove insurance. No diesel vehicles. Call 688-0245.

DRAIN IOWA

Iowans flock to the lakes of Minnesota for water recreation, but this year the water came to them. It's too much of a good thing. The destruction and personal losses are heart-tugging. The governor says it's far from over.

FEMA? Forget them. Let's send volunteers to help those nice folks in Iowa. Next stop: River City, Iowa.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Sun Tanning

- Israeli archeologists uncovered date tree seeds that were at least 2,000 years old. One of the seeds was planted in a pot, and it sprouted in healthy fashion. This is highly significant, but I cannot explain why.

- Smog is over the city today. Or is it a mushroom cloud?

- Don't forget: Iraq War = oil.

Meetings & Events

- The Dixie Convention Center will host the National Association of Proof reeders at there annual gathering in July.

- A parade of special people (those in touch with their inner-selves and higher- beings) will proceed from Bluff Street at the freeway to Sunset on Saturday at 10 a.m. So if part of you wants to march, at some level, please register first. Have your papers ready.

- A new group is forming locally. It's based on intellectual prowess or its absence. STUPSA, counterpart of MENSA, was founded by an ex-communicated MENSA member who did something really dumb. A fellow Mensan ratted on him and that was that.

Help Wanted

Real people to replace Senators Bennett and Hatch. Must believe in Constitution and have no pompous airs.

Twenty-Years-from-Now News

- The peace ambassadors from Mars will visit Earth this month. Leaders of both planets want to prevent a repeat of the recent skirmish in space which resulted in lives lost on both sides. The Martian Prime Minister claims to desire peace and is willing to sign long term contracts with Exxon-Mobil and Chevron if they will hire Martian laborers.

- Now it's a proven fact now that humans don't have to eat to survive and be healthy. At least 50 scientists gave up food a decade ago, and appear strong and well. They benefit from large doses of daily sunshine and a spoonful of spirulina once in a while. Also, exercise in the form of swimming, jogging and jumping to conclusions is in their regimen.

Overheard at Only The Lonely

"So Bush is in France. There ought to be a law that elected dudes can't leave the country. Woodrow Wilson started this foolishness. Keep 'em all at home - governors, senators, mayors, etc. I can't go anywhere, why should they?"

NOT TODAY

You're the only reader of this blog, therefore, only you will be either disappointed or elated by the lack of a message today. No big deal.

Just you and me, Babe.

OIL SLICKS DRILLED AND PUMPED BY CONGRESS

The CEOs of Exxon Mobil and other giant oil corporations stood unbowed under verbal assaults from Democrat Senators on Tuesday. The Republicans blocked all moves that would add taxes to the oil companies which make some $50 billion per. They also stopped efforts to take away government subsidies and tax breaks.

We hear from the leading GOP congressmen and their radio army and writers that oil companies make only 8% return on investment. We can't argue with these creative accountants, but we can be skeptical. Also, we remain cognizant that the commodity these monster corporations sell is produced by nature and taken out of the earth needing only to be refined.

Oil slicks, indeed.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Line Dancing

How are we going to get out of this one? We have a failing currency, the national debt is somewhere between $10 trillion and $40 trillion, depending on how many bills you want to count, we have occupying forces in five major nations, two of which are still hostile to us, an illegal immigrant invasion is underway, and our legislative process resembles a bribery system.

Meetings & Events

St. George, Utah Mayor Dan McArthur will speak to the League of Cities in Chicago this coming Monday. His topic will be: How To Tell a Snowbird from an Illegal Alien.

Twenty-Years-From-Now News

- Elian Gonzales - now a cell phone salesman in Havana - is shown on television visiting Fidel Castro in Castro's assisted living facility. Both men are smiling and waving Chinese flags.

- Now that the legal voting age has been reduced to 10, a citizen can be elected to Congress or the Presidency at age 12. You've come a long way, America, from racism, genderism, classism, and age discrimination.

- Former President George W. Bush spoke with Foxy News by phone yesterday. Long-discredited for starting wars, approving of torture, and burning our currency - he has not been seen in public since 2009.

Overheard At Slippery Slope Saloon

"When will solar power and wind energy replace coal and oil?"

"When your brother-in-law pays you back."

BENEFITS OF ECONOMIC RECESSIONS

Recessions are usually short ( if the government keeps out of it ) but this one will take longer because the main perpetrators have the influence and power to attempt to fix what they broke. We're talking Federal Reserve rulers, congressional leaders and lame-duck presidents.

Call recessions downturns, slow cycles, panics, or sluggish economies. They don't last long unless there is a whole lot of meddling going on. Keep your chin up, your hopes alive and your gold in a safe place.

If the recession goes on and on, we can benefit by a well-deserved rest. Our bodies and minds need that. Nearly everyone will drive less (the car will get a rest) and accidents will be reduced. A slower pace will replace the crazy-fast pace that's prevailed. We won't eat too much, like we usually do. We might become less materialistic. We will appreciate everything more.

More gardens will grow, traffic will lessen, families will come together, and everyone will have more time to think.

Depressions are horrible, but a hands-off recession is not all bad.

It's all so simple.

Overheard at Only The Lonely

"Obama is considered a Black man. He had a white mother, so why isn't he a white man? If his father had been Chinese, would we call him a Chinaman? Who decides these designations? We are all members of the human race. We don't need no stinking color coding."

"The guy at the end of the bar says, 'Bill Clinton was the first Black president.' Boy, he had me fooled."

"Obama talks about hope. Hell, Clinton came from Hope (Arkansas.) Didn't do him much good."

LOCAL PAPER WINS PRIZE IN FLUFF & PUFF

Also, the locals win first place in protecting Senator Hatch from himself. Another first in not covering the 12 years of our nation starving Iraq and denying medicine to the sick. Keeping readers in the dark about the banned depleted uranium used by our military gained still another numero uno. And what other paper could top the news blackout of the oil heist now in progress?

The readership is happy and blissful because the local paper is judiciously informative and uninformative. That is, they don't tell us any more than we can handle.

They make cover-ups respectable and dignified.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Taking Out The Trash

- Someone wrote that we'd have a mess if the government ran the oil companies. The next writer countered that: "As it is now, the oil companies run the government." This is powerful stuff. Bush, Cheney and Rice were all top executives in the oil industry. Watch closely to see the actions of the oil folks. They get away with more than enough to raise your suspicions to the sky.

- It's a perennial thing: Dogs run around in the parks, behaving like dogs. Their owners stand nearby. The next day, young girls and boys play supervised games on the same field grass. Can someone give us the scoop? Why is this allowed?

Meetings & Events

- The If-Only-I-Hadn't-Done-It-My-Way support group invites the public to our meetings in Town Square by the fountain on Tuesdays at 10 a.m. Be there. We'll turn your regrets into friendships.

- Support group for those who can't stop thinking about tomorrow meets at noon tomorrow at the main library.

Help Wanted

Managing editor at local rag. Must have keen eye for detecting news unfavorable to the establishment, and be prepared to squash it or spin it to please the best interests of the publisher and owner. Peaceniks, pacifists, vegans, deserters, wimps, and out-of-the-box thinkers need not apply.

Overheard at Barnes & Noble

"No cheese danish? And you call this a bookstore?"

Overheard at Slippery Slope Saloon

- "Bloggers now outnumber Elvis impersonators."

- "The bees are still disappearing, and you say there's no global warming."

- "McCain wants a man on Mars. Great. He'd be the perfect fit, just the guy to send out there. Ha, ha. Did you notice whenever McCain makes a trip to Iraq, they never follow him home?"

- "So that's what a managing editor is. He manages the news we get to read. He's a control freak, but really serves his masters. Please don't quote me on that."

Twenty-Years-From-Now News

The mountain desert city of St. George, Utah has roundabouts at every intersection. The city leaders have effectively eliminated all stop lights and reduced automobile collisions by 82%. The spaces inside the roundabouts are used for loiterers' jails, advertising displays and drive-up banks.

OOPS. UNEMPLOYMENT IS VERTICAL AGAIN

Stimulus. We need more stimulus. Yesterday, we reported that retail sales had risen due to Our Leader's brilliant dole out of funny money to everyone who's breathing.. The sales increase was encouraging, but now it's "Flying High In April, Shot Down In May." The stimulus was apparently too little. The jobless numbers zoomed, as did oil prices, and the stock market index fell more than 400 points. Woe is we. This is serious - we cannot afford to wait for Stimulus I to work beyond the retail level. We need Stimulus II to improve the employment factor.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Shopping for a Scooter

- Watch for the Bush administration to print up another $300 for each of us. These neoconservatives are so proactive. Herbert Hoover would have napped through this crisis. (But the dollar would have remained sound.)

- Japan sends a lot of foreign aid around the world, they have for years. They are spreading yen around Africa. Some critics point out that Japan is just buying friends and gaining influence. That might be true, and I'm sure proud that Uncle Sam never had such motives with all the aid he's been giving for decades and decades and decades.

Overheard at Duffy's

-"What's with this workforce housing scam? They're going to build ticky tacky apartments for the government employees who can't afford the same rent the less essential workers pay? You gotta be a fireman or a cop or a teacher - then you get favored housing. How's about my brother-in-law who works hard as a taxi-cab driver? He serves the public, too, but he lives in a dump and pays too much rent."

- "Don't tell me we'll ever pull out of Iraq. We're still building military bases."

Overheard at a Bank

"What are you doing this weekend?"

"I'm engaged, so we're getting our shots on Saturday."

"Really? Times have changed, in my day you didn't have to have shots to get married."

- "No, no. Photograph shots, You know, click, click."

STIMULUS STIMULATES

Surprise! Month of May economic index figures look favorable with an upturn in retail spending. The adopted brainchild of the Bush adminstration has already boosted the economy. Well, of course, President Franklin Deficit Roosevelt proved long ago that "priming the pump" by spending money that doesn't exist will put a happy smile on the thing called the economy. President Ronald Reagan exclaimed his love and devotion for FDR, and copied his "spend 'til you bend" practice. FDR was credited with ending the depression (although Tojo and Hitler did more by creating a war economy for us). Reagan is hailed for bringing the miracle - Reaganomics - to the land. Each president piled on the national debt.

When George McGovern campaigned for the White House in 1972, he pledged to send every American $1,000. Most folks scoffed at the "silly idea."

President George W. Bush is "Mr. Deficit," leaving Roosevelt and Reagan looking tight-fisted. W's stimulus package is a joy today, but we'll cry tomorrow when paying interest on the borrowed money. Future debates will focus on the amount of "free money" the guvmint will directly deposit into your friendly bank.

The concept of throwing money at a problem has become respectable in both major political parties. As President Richard Nixon said, "We're all Keynesians now."

Who says you can't spend yourself rich?

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Looking for a Blank Check

Folly and foolishness are among the top ingredients of self-government. The rampant ignorance of our American political economy is no accident, after a couple of centuries of our public schools not teaching the history, philosophy, principles, or theories of the subject. Our students are so devoid of economic knowledge and wisdom that they easily fall for propaganda when they are adults.

Help Wanted

Traveling salesman to peddle sodium fluoride (rat poison, you know) to municipal drinking water departments from Seattle to Miami. Easy sell, huge commissions, and the undying respect of the unsuspecting. Dentists will love you because their colleges convinced them that fluoridation saved teeth ( the colleges accepted grant money from the industry, but that's just the American way. ) Top pay for smooth-talking man or woman. Apply on line www.save/ teeth; ruin organs.

Overheard at the Bank in the Super Market

"How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks?"

OBAMANIA

The Democrats have their candidate for president in Senator Barack Hussein Obama. His followers cheer him all the while he speaks. The man has to talk to people who are yelling at him or for him. His critics complain that Obama doesn't say much. Well, how could he, why would he and why should he?

Change. Hope. Lofty terms. Here's an example from his St. Paul speech: "You choose to listen not to your doubts and fears, but to your greatest hopes and highest aspirations. Tonight we mark the end of one historic journey with the beginning of another to bring a new and better day to America."

Obamamania is hysteria and an unusual element on the American political scene.

If Ron Paul's supporters are loyal and enthusiastic, Barack Obama's are hyperventilated. This is not to indicate that truth or reason or tradition are violated in any way, but we do deserve some explanations.

Obama spoke to AIPAC on Wednesday, June 4, 2008. That's the lobby representing Israel. Isn't that ducky? AIPAC is one of the largest lobbies of Congress comprised of attorneys and ex-members of Congress who know the ropes and how to pull the strings to get favors and big bucks for another nation: Israel. All of this is at the U.S. taxpayers' expense. We send so much foreign aid to Israel that you can be sure bundles get into the hands of these lobbyists who will extract still more from our treasury.

This new politician, Obama, is more of the same, same old. He promised the Israelis that Jerusalem will always belong to them despite the fact that they seized it in 1967 and various past leaders of Israel have pledged to let it go. Then Obama promises to defend Israel. Does that mean more executive wars without a declaration by Congress?

And don't you forget Obama's membership in CFR.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts upon Awakening from "The American Dream"

- Ex-liar Scott McClellan has written a book exposing the Bush administration's deceptions about Iraq, Katrina and the messed-up budget. It's great that he's finally gone straight.

- Hillary's campaign debts seem to hang heavy over her head. She's asking for the public's help. What kind of a Democrat is she? Hasn't she heard of debt repudiation? The "Happy Warrior" aka Hubert Horatio Humphrey ran for president in 1968 leaving unpaid bills for lodging, printing, transportation, dining, etc. Years went by before the senator finally agreed to settle for 10% of the delinquent debts. Humphrey told a newspaper, "The creditors never expected to be paid. They gained just by having a major candidate use their services."

Minnesota's other senator at the time was Eugene McCarthy. He behaved the same irresponsible way ( he was running against HHH. ) McCarthy had to avoid the state of Indiana ever after because officials there had filed legal papers against his person.. The businesses in Indiana who has served "the peace candidate" were not paid any percentage.

The overwhelming majority of Minnesotans are not deadbeats, and did not like the behavior of their favorite sons.

Will Trade

Weapons for plowshares. Call Lame Duck W.

WHAT IF NOBODY VOTED?

Think the unthinkable: What if they held an election for president and nobody showed up to vote? What would happen?

I believe the federal government would take immediate action to reschedule the election, and Congress would meet in emergency session to make voting mandatory.

What else could they do, outsource it?

Meetings & Events

- Confidential notice: Low profile conclave to review progress of the project. Usual location, usual time, but enter with unusual nonchalance. Wait for eye signals. Good Ol' Boys

- Global Warming Watch and Mensa voted to merge into one organization. The standards for admission will rise, however, current members will be "grandfathered" into the new group, regardless of brain size.

- Last Man's Club is soliciting members for a new chapter, after Pete won the old bottle of whiskey and drank it too fast.

Overheard at Hurley's Hanging Gardens

- "How can you tell the good guys from the bad ones when Hitler and Mussolini were teetotaling vegetarians while Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin were boozing red meat eaters?"

- "My wife's started taking out the garbage and I'm getting real suspicious."

LOBBYISTS, AGENTS OF CORPORATIONS

Gary Trudeau did a public service in yesterday's Doonsbury strip. Lobbyists, all former senators were made fun of at last. More ought to be done to them. I have Abu Ghraib in mind or at least Gitmo. The senators - Torricelli, Durenberger, Grams, Hutchinson, Packwood, Garn (Utah), Miller, Breaux, D'Amato, Coats, and Talent - are quietly raking in much more dough than when they were living high in the Senata. Many of them used to take bribes - now they deliver them.

How can you not be cynical when your nation's precious law-making and leadership system is corrupted by illustrious countrymen and women?

Only two years after the republic was born, future president James Madison complained of the influence of corporate money in the U.S. Congress. He was ignored, even by the most patriotic countrymen.

Agents of influence not only represent corporations seeking favors and advantages, they lobby for foreign countries: Japan, Israel, Turkey, Mexico, UK, Brazil, Eygpt, Taiwan, Ireland, Greece, Italy and just about everybody. They have better access to your Congress than you do. Former Senator and presidential candidate Bob Dole represented Japan to the U.S. Congress after leaving the Senate.

Isn't anybody mad as hell? How do you spell revolution?

"America has the most advanced influence-peddling industry in the world. Washington's culture of influence-for-hire is open to all buyers, foreign and domestic." - The Economist

"The real scandal in Washington is not what is done illegally, but what is done legally." - The New Republic

Thoughts While Jaywalking

I saw a familiar man driving his scooter today. I recognized him and my emotional pain was intense. How could he? Sure enough, it was Bruce. I saw him dismount and walk into his house. Bruce is my mechanic. He has pampered my car for years. But now it's over. He's gone to the other side, the scooter side. Where will I go; what will I do; what will happen to me?

Overheard at Frenchy's Speakeasy

- "It's no longer a question of sickness or health, but whether you like your disease."

- "Show me a bank with a rest room and I'll transfer my money there."

- "I'll never forget my disillusionment when I discovered that the loan officer wasn't the same man who did the bank commercials on television."

- "Did O.J. ever find the real killers?"

Wanted

Slogans to replace "cut and run, stay the course, follow us home, mission accomplished, these colors don't run, plant democracy, throw flowers, dance in the streets, and surge."

It's all so simple.

SOMETIMES BAD IS BAD

A cluster bomb is a bomb which propels bomblets in all directions when it explodes. The international community is horrified by the weapon and pleads with nations to not employ them, but no one's listening.

Children and other innocent civilians are frequent victims. Let's call it planned collateral damage.

Somehow, we used the thing in our attack on Iraq. Now our close ally, Israel, admits it scattered cluster bombs in populated areas in its invasion of Lebanon two years ago.

We continue to slide down from the moral high ground. One day soon, we'll have to repent and get back to admirable principles.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While the Light is Red

That Russian rascal, Nikita Khrushchev, was met by reporters in Moscow after he visited the USA in 1959. "What do you think of Americans?," they asked. "Spit in their faces and they call it dew," he answered.

He should try that now.

Meetings & Events

The Coffee and Booze Support Group meets at 8 a.m. this Saturday at Charlie's. A charter member will testify for the practice of a straight shot to calm the nerves after drinking coffee. Another group member will explain how to use slurp mud ( coffee, of course ) to sober up in one minute.

JIMMY CARTER BAD?

Hapless Jimmy Carter. We blamed the former president for the Federal Reserve's raising interest rates and for rising prices caused by OPEC oil production reductions. Now his detractors call him an anti-Semite. If you want your reputation besmirched in 20 minutes, just mention that Israel possesses 150 nukes. It worked for Jimmy.

He's been smeared and swarmed by Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Mark Levin, Rush Limbaugh, and Newt Gingrich. All of those neocons have been vacation guests of Israel multiple times. Rush was the only one who visited Palestine on his way home. How did he dare? Then Rush exclaimed that before Israel seized half of Palestine (the most fertile part) in 1949, "There was nothing there. All progress came after the Israelis moved in."

Anyone can lie, but few can get away with such whoppers. Why do the media and other influential authorities let that go without correction? History records that Israelis TOOK BY FORCE Palestinian homes, farms and businesses. The people were herded into refugee camps where they have been for 60 years. Palestine had many schools, hospitals, and the other institutions worthy of admiration. Palestinians had the most educated and socially sophisticated society in the Middle East when the United Nations told them to move out and promised them their own state - which never happened.

Meanwhile, Carter can recall his arrangement of the Camp David Accords with Israel's Begin and Eygpt's Sadat. That was a positive step towards peace and quite an accomplishment at the time. Old Jimmy can hold his own in history as a leader, statesman and humanitarian.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Cleaning the Garage

Maybe Mars will change everything. I mean, couldn't we get all the powers of this world to sign a pledge of peace for Big Red? Let's not fight there, too.

Overheard on the Street

"My wife wants me to look into one of those jobs Americans won't do."

Help Wanted

Clean-up crew for the Democratic convention in Denver. Can't be squeamish or faint-hearted. Be prepared for the worst. Union wage. Contact Dr. Dean.

Illegals wanted for clean-up crew at Republican convention in St. Paul. Not much mess / really neat folks. Just sweep up a bit. Option of cash payment or direct deposit in Bank of Nogales. Contact Liz Dole.

WILL THEY SHOOT SCOTT MCCLELLAN?

The president's former press secretary has turned against the empire and dared to write it in a book. That puts him in the category with Richard Clarke and Paul O'Neil - other lying insiders who quit the Bush administration.

The robot-puppet mouthpieces on radio, television and internet are so certain that Scott's story is false that they won't open the cover. They focus on the fact that he did not speak up while he was part of the Bush presidency. True, but this only indicates cowardice or bad judgement. He's telling it all now even if he is a flawed person.

The people in power don't want you to hear the truth. They'll destroy the messenger, the confessor or anyone else who contradicts them. Otherwise, they'd attack the words in the book before trying to destroy the author.

Ask Joe Wilson.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Jogging

- What has government got to do with marriage? Or divorce? Why should two people have to get a license to live in a union? A fundamental human bond is above this involvement. Get the guvmint out.

- How do we Communism haters reconcile these verified facts and figures? Cuba is teaching and training 23,000 future medical doctors from 120 countries, and maintains 30,000 Cuban health workers serving people in 70 nations? This is impressive humanitarianism regardless of the system ( communist, fascist, free market, monarchy ) that produces it.

Overheard at Only The Lonely

- "A recent poll showed that 68% don't believe in public opinion polls."

- "How old would you be if you could be as old as you want to be? Take that number and run with it."

OLD

Rhymes with gold, bold and mold.

If you've lived only 22 years, 30 seems old to you. But if you were 90 and in good health, you'd feel young compared with your 60-year-old neighbor whose doctor says she's terminal.

Old or young, who knows?

Senator John McCain would be very old, as presidents go, but Congressman Ron Paul is older. Ronald Reagan was considered old when he moved into the White House at 69.

What else is old? Trees are old. So are some turtles. Historians tell us our republic is approaching old age, as republics go. Even Mother Earth is getting long in the tooth. Estimates vary from 4,000 years to about 100 billion.

The song said it: "Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is?" .

Do you remember how Ali won every fight? And when Gary Powers made that U2 flight? Dearie, if you remember, then you're a whole lot older than I.

Overheard at Slippery Slope Saloon

- "We're all socialists now."

- "It's a race to see which becomes extinct first, the Republicans or the middle class. I'm picking the Republicans because they're suicidal."

- "The dressed-up guy sitting over by the juke box says, "There were only four real Republicans in Congress during the 20th Century: Charles Lindbergh Sr., Robert Taft, Barry Goldwater, and Ron Paul." He claims Joe McCarthy fought the Commies like a conservative but voted like a drunken liberal.

- "The Repubs are too smart for the Dems. They cut taxes and raise spending. Can't beat that."

Help Wanted

Black helicopter spotters for Snow Canyon area. Night shift available now. Need flashlight, binoculars, and beanie. Call 688-0245.

Meetings & Events

Paranoid Support meets at noon on Saturday at Frenchy's cellar in Parowan. We'll try to vote on the merger with The Pessimists Club. Paranoid Pessimists of Parowan might be too much to hope for, considering our enemies' plots.

TODAY, MARS. TOMORROW, THE WORLD

We're up there on Mars digging for ice and whatever else we might find. The space scientists hope to find signs of life or at least an atmosphere which can sustain life. But who knows? Minerals, timber, coal, natural gas, etc.

A rebirth of colonization is in the works. We'll send pioneers to the new land ( er, planet ) and look for riches beyond your fondest dreams. But, damn it all, we're broke. Where is Queen Isabella now when we need her?

The obvious solution is to buy some more paper and ink, and print the currency. Sell bonds to the Chinese and Saudis. In the long run, the benefits of a New America on Mars will flood the land with treasures, easily erasing the sky-high cost of the project.

We're Americans. Let's do it. We could send incorrigible convicts there, as the English did to Georgia and Australia. And what if we discover oil on Mars? Is it ours? Or shall we give it to Chevron and Exxon/Mobil? Tough decision, but we have time to think.

Every intellectual in the world ( Earth ) knows there are too many people walking around. Ted Turner says we should reduce the population to 250,000,000. Fine. We can deport illegal immigrants, criminals, movie stars, karaoke singers, neocons, CIA torturers, and various other undesirables to the War Planet. Global-warming preachers would be sent to a real hot spot. All of this would reduce Earth's human population by half.

We should colonize Mars now, before the Chinese swarm the place.

ll so simple.

Thoughts While in the Shower

Repetition rules. We get up, eat, work, visit, play, and go back to bed - repeatedly. These are the patterns of our lives, based on habits. Without good habits, you might miss out on some of that list, especially eating or working. Both success and failure seem to be determined by repetitive habits. Repetition can be your friend.

Help Wanted

Experienced space ship attendants for extended trips. Long layovers to be expected with minimal complaining. References required. Send resume to NASA.

Meetings & Events

The public is invited to a roundtable discussion regarding Feng Shui revisionism. It seems that many photo negatives published in books were mistakenly turned around. This would explain why things have not worked out very well for many of us. See you at the Main Library on Thursday at 5 p.m. We'll meet on the left side of the building this time.

IT'S STILL THE SAME OLD STORY

A fight for love and glory. A case of do or die. That's only natural and the way it is. Nature doesn't care if we like or dislike our situations - we must adjust.

If you don't not want love and glory - you're not in the fight. But most of us are made to struggle for comforts, creativity and survival. We get into harmony with nature and learn to reshape and enjoy the world.The struggle will be worth it and enjoyable if our attitudes are right.

Did you hear the story about Buddha being challenged by one of his devout followers? The man said, "Oh Great One, I have walked 66 miles in my bare feet to ask your advice. I am a peasant with a wife and six children, my crops are failing, my creditors want to take my land, the roof is leaking in the kitchen, our oldest son is too lazy to help us, my wife is expecting twins, and I have a weak heart. Please Buddha, tell me - what can I do to solve my terrible problems?"

"Beats me," Buddha answered.

The man said, "How can you, of all people, not know what I should do?"

Buddha said, "Everyone has 82 problems, but you don't want any problems so you have 83."

It's up to us to make our world. Struggle can be good for you.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Pumping Gas

The New York Yankee pitcher, Hawkins, threw at a Baltimore batter's head and was ejected from the game. This is baseball's ugliest aspect and problem. A few celebrated pitchers - Nolan Ryan and Roger Clemens - were accused of throwing at hitters who had hits the previous times at bat.

The rules makers ought to change the rule for a hit batsman. The batter should be allowed to go to second base instead of first and should walk directly to second base, over the pitcher's mound, with the option of carrying his bat with him.

Overheard at Frenchy's Upstairs Lounge

- "Democrats tax and spend, Republicans borrow and spend, Libertarians don't do either one. So guess which one the people never vote for?"

- "Why don't they make mirrors like they used to?"

- "I miss Bill Clinton. I'll be glad when he's the First Lady."

Overheard at a Bus Depot

" If you're not half an hour early, you'll be late."

HEY, BIG SPENDER

He's coming.

That's right. Your president for the past two wars and two trillion dollars is headed for Utah, the reddest state of them all. Republican states are referred to as "red." Democrat states are called blue. That's hard to get used to because old Democrats were called pinkos, sometimes reds. But Republicans earned the new color code based on their propensity for spending money before it exists.

Anyhow, our red-ink president soon will be among us war hawks and spendthrifts to raise campaign funds for the Republican Party. Let's all do the right thing: Render unto Bush that which is Bush's.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While on Hold on the Telephone

- I've been taking small arms fire today for calling politicians "proud, arrogant, power-mad." I apologize. I forgot "lazy and vain."

- The oil corporation CEOs told Congress about the "current up cycle" in oil. Now you know where the term "oil slick" came from.

- Cuba is allowing citizens (inmates?) to own cell phones for the first time. New President Raul seems so accomodating to the people. Fidel must have "left the building."

Overheard at Slippery Slope Saloon

- "I'm still waiting for someone to tell me why I should pay a buck for a gallon of bottled water when it has nothing in it. Tap water is almost free and it has sodium fluoride, chlorine, mercury, benzene, and a smidgen of spent jet fuel."

- "Global warming is history. It was too hot not to cool down."

- "The guy at the end of the bar told me that when Planet Earth warmed up, it caused the lakes and oceans to evaporate, which then formed clouds and increased rainfall. This made the plants grow like crazy, therefore, reducing the carbon factor big time, and so global warming shifted into reverse. He seems like a smart guy. He's drinking scotch."

Meetings & Events

Good Old Boys Reunion, Saturday at 8 p.m., upstairs at Frenchy's, use side door, utter password or hand ID. A guest speaker will present strategies on "Retaining Control Despite Influx."

DISASTER AID REBUFFED BY DICTATORS

The international public is upset and angry that leaders of nations deny medical help for their people when offered by outsiders. The recent cyclones in Myanmar (Burma) and earthquakes in China have killed more than 150,000 people and made several million homeless. What motivates those leaders? Why not accept all help available? You know the reason.

They feel insecure in their power.

They turned down offers of aid whenever foreigners wanted to enter Myanmar and China, but there is great comfort in knowing that regular people care, everywhere. Most folks want to lend a hand to other human beings, regardless of the flags they fly.

When hit by Katrina, a hurricane that claimed about 2,000 American lives, a self-styled "compassionate conservative president" named George W. Bush rejected an offer from Cuba to send - the very next day - 1,586 doctors and 83 field hospitals to Mississippi and Louisiana. Mr. Bush did not hesitate to say "no" and he did not ask people in the disaster area if they wanted Cuban aid.

As it turned out, our decider's disaster department, FEMA, was so little and so late that the Cubans could have made a tremendous difference. Disaster upon disaster because of another insecure leader.

Governments and dictators are all alike. They're proud, arrogant, power-mad, and insecure. Politics attracts that type, with too few notable exceptions.

It's all so simple.

Meetings & Events

"What Do Men Want?" expo is coming. Watch for further announcements, you slick macho dude.

Help Wanted

Global warming cops. Imagination and gullibility required. Career might be brief - the way things are going. See your local sheriff.

Will Trade

Will swap a mint condition convertible and low miles for a mo-ped scooter or two good bicycles. Call 688-0245.

Overheard at Only The Lonely

"This is the year to hold your nose and close your eyes in the voting booth. That way you won't get sick and you'll have a clear conscience."

SICKO

About a year ago, Paula and I watched Michael Moore's "Sicko" in Minneapolis. Eleven people were in the theatre audience. This topped the attendance record for the other Moore documentary, "Fahrenheit 911" which drew only eight folks into the St. George theatre we attended.

This was evidence to me that petty people don't dare to be exposed to ideas promoted by those they dislike. Rather than face the challenges of Moore's revelations, they turn their backs on the man and his works.

I wrote identical letters to health professionals, radio talk hosts, newspaper editors, and others with a public interest to learn how many and who had seen "Sicko." Most of them did answer my stamped self-addressed envelopes, but none had seen the film. One said he would rent it later. Another said she couldn't afford to go. Others merely reported not seeing it.

I was crestfallen by the paltry response.

All of us could learn from Sicko. Those who should know better prefer to be ignorant. Moore's film has merit.

The movie would cause anyone to reassess his or her values. Socialized medicine, national health insurance or whatever modified program might not be the ideal answer, but you must be cognizant of our broken health care system.

Insurance company employees dictate treatment and care. Fifty million Americans can't afford insurance or care. Health professional and insurance corporations hire teams of lobbyists to influence members of Congress. The last and almost forgotten subject is the patient.

Reforms are desperately needed and sitting still to watch Sicko might jar open your closed minds, causing you to create solutions from which we'd all benefit.

It's all so simple.

Meetings & Events

Consultant John Dillinger will speak to the Association of Physicians and Insurance executives on "What the Traffic Will Bear."

Help Wanted

Refusal Clerk to handle requests from ICU nurses and doctors. Must know how to say "no" firmly and without apology. Pay depends on rate of turndowns. Apply in person at White Cross Insurance Inc.

For Sale

American-made pills from Canada, save big. You benefit by fair prices.

GLOBAL HOT AIR

If (they) don't turn up the heat soon, the whole concept of man-caused global warming will collapse. Meanwhile, in the month of May, we see snow and low temperatures in Washington, Minnesota, South Dakota, New York, Maine, and Vermont.

Dude, your carbon footprints are making tracks in the snow.

Something is seriously flawed with the theory.

Come to think of it, we remember what a flim-flam Y2K was. Maybe Global Warming and Y2K came from the same think tank.

It's all so simple.

Meetings & Events

- The Snowbirds stranded here by the high gas prices will gather at the Wal-Mart parking lot today at 4 p.m. to launch a public plea for funds. Also, government help might be on the way to get you on your way.

- The city council's plan to install No Loitering signs on the roundabouts has been abandoned and will be an issue on the ballot in the November elections.

For Sale

Exercise equipment and vegetable juicer. Both used only once. A package deal for $200 or a few gallons of gas or milk.

Thoughts While Waiting in Line at the Convenience Store

- Q. What will we do if China attacks Taiwan? Or Pakistan invades India? Or Israel rolls into Lebanon?

- A. Nothing. nothing, nothing.

- Q. What if Iran builds a nuke?

- A. Missile attacks, air raids, naval shellings, commando action, Marine beach landings, paratroops, CIA predator assassinations, and Exxon-Chevron drilling.

Overheard at Slippery Slope Saloon

"If they follow us home, just where do they think they're going to stay?"

"I know, I know. Bryan Hyde is the best radio man west of the mountains - the Appalachian mountains. Problem is, he's on during Happy Hour."

PRESIDENT BUSH SCOLDS ARABS

Your president addressed the Arab world while in Egypt. He told them to treat their women better.

What a topic. President Bush might have mentioned Saddam, who championed the rights of women and ushered them into the arts, business and academia. Whatever else Saddam was, he was not a gender-bully. And so now, Bush, the self-styled liberator of the Iraqi people, has installed a puppet government which is stripping women of the rights guaranteed them by Saddam.

It's all so simple.

Thoughts While Leaning on a No-Loitering Sign

- Maybe a guy should go into the incandescent-light-bulb business. We're talking black market- lucrative, exciting and tax free.

- There's a surprise coming in the election process. Let's hire a reputable psychic to find out about November. Then we'll take the data to the casino and bet our stimulus payments on it. Give me a call and we'll car-pool it.

Financial Opportunity

Tired of eating beans while your really stupid boss dines upstairs at Frenchy's? Well, do something about it! Join our happy franchise family selling recycled Rush Limbaugh neck ties and Orrin Hatch songs. Call 1-800 ODD TIES AND MUSIC.

For Sale

Neocon T shirts. Clever messages on the back. Mostly clean - the shirts, not the messages. See Ernie in the booth at the mall.

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY

Barrack Obama is certainly a nice guy. He's probably the nicest of all of the candidates who ran this year. That includes Hillary, who is one of the guys, according to the language in use now. Obama is not as nice as Ron Paul, of course, but that's because Ron is perfect.

Many of us will never vote for Obama for one reason. That is, his statement that he is raising his daughter to be moral and chaste, but if she makes a mistake: "I'm not going to punish her with a baby."

Not nice.

Then many others of us would not vote for him because he is a member of the notorious Council on Foreign Relations. That's not the Boy Scouts. It means he is not free and independent. He's signed in and under control with an agenda.

I'll vote only for those who are free, therefore, I might have to write in (on a voting machine?) the name of Ron Paul ( Mr. Right.)

It's all so simple.
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Overheard at Only The Lonely

"Is there a law here that new buildings, have to look like the old ones?

"I'm just saying I can't respect a man who takes two dogs for a walk and brings only one plastic bag."

MILITARY ACTION/COLLATERAL HELL

When the supposed top terrorist in Iraq, Al-Zarqaawi, was killed by our bombs dropped on his house, noted moralist Fidel Castro said, "A barbarity. He should have been tried in court."

Yes, innocent until proven guilty. And we should demand a surrender before decimating them. We're Americans. What has happened to us?

But we went ahead with military justice, dropping two 500 pound bombs on that house, killing Bad Al and a few others, including a woman and a child. We used that nice term spoken often by Timothy McVieh: "Collateral damage." It means innocent life caught in the middle of the action. They might as well put "so what" ahead of the term.

An hour before Shock & Awe was scheduled to begin in Iraq, CIA Director George Slamdunk Tenet reported to President Bush that Saddam was in a certain cafe. So we bombed the place, killing innocent adults and their children, but Saddam wasn't there. So what?

Let's go back to behaving with a reverence for life.

It's all so simple.

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Thoughts While Driving

- Congressman Ron Paul tore into the conservatives who claim that tax cuts increase revenues. He says, "The heck with more revenue. That's not the problem. We have to cut expenditures."

- Curious Bush quote: "We must defeat the enemies of hatred."

- The man also said, Iran is seeking a 'nucular' weapon."

- Bush grumbles about the bad intelligence given to him before his attack on Iraq.

- McCain said today, "We've won the war. Iraq has a functioning democracy."

- The governor works to increase tourism; the mayor pushes golf. Governors ought to let the tourism industry tend to that subject. (The gov should protect liberty.) The mayor should allow recreation industry professionals to do the golf business. (The mayor should work for the liberties of his constituents.) But don't try to explain it to them. They magnify their job descriptions, indicating an ego problem.

- Israel's population is 7 million, and they receive $4 billion in foreign aid from Uncle Sam. Do the math, you might want to climb onto that gravy train.

- Dems win congressional seats in Louisiana, Mississippi and Illinois. Many Republicans are in shock.

- Don't ever lose you day planner! You might as well go back to bed.

- Former Utah Mike Leavitt (now a HEW cabinet member) was in China when the quake quaked. The man is everywhere, probably the most traveled cat since Eleanor Roosevelt.

Twenty-Years-From-Now News

Mike Leavitt has opened a travel agency in Washington DC favoring lobbyists. Politicians, bureaucrats and celebrities can fly coach. Mr. Leavitt intends to accompany most flights until he gets it out of his system.

INTEGRITY

Gotcha. You never heard of integrity, right? Or maybe you forgot the meaning of the word.

Integrity made it onto page one a few days ago when a young man working at Southern Utah University found and immediately turned in $108,000. The first paragraph of the news report stated something like: "Most people would have kept the dough." See what I mean? Some politicians, a few corporate crooks, subculture celebrities, sports cheats, and drug criminals have led us down the path to cynicism. There are so many examples: unopposed illegal immigration, price-fixing in business, lobbies controlling Congress, Federal Reserve banksters, and an inconsistent justice system.

We're not riding high right now, but the good things shall return, including integrity. When civilization climbs back to a high moral plane, you won't be a hero for returning money which doesn't belong to you - it will be natural and common.

The person who lost the big bucks will get the attention. Really. How do you lose $108,000?

It's all so simple.
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Twenty-Years-From-Now News

A young Utah highway patrolman stopped a speeding driver on Interstate 15 south of Provo yesterday. The driver was ticketed and allowed to continue on his way. His name was Osama bin Laden, but the officer and his supervisors didn't recognize the once-famous (infamous) person. Some old timers recall that the "Secret Agent Man" had been a CIA operative credited with chasing the Russian Army occupiers out of Afghanistan prior to organizing the terrible crime known as 9/11. The patrolman told television news that the subject had a white beard, soft brown eyes, a weak voice and was stooped. "I thought he was a grandfather, not a fugitive. But he's both." said the officer.

Meeting & Events

Economist Dr. Ira Longterm will review and sign his latest book: "You Don't Need Cash If You Know The Cashier," at the local Holiday Inn tomorrow at 7 p.m.

OIL

Your president, vice president, secretary of state, secretary of defense, and Senator Orrin Hatch told you that we had to attack Iraq to capture Saddam's evil weapons of mass destruction (WMD).

The United Nations inspectors led by Hans Blix and Scott Ritter scoffed at the claim. After the story was found to be false, we heard other explanations. One was the "confession" by Senator Hatch when he visited the offices of The Spectrum last month. He told the newspaper's editors that we acted to save Israel from Iraq. Please understand that Israel has amply supplies of WMD, and can defend itself.

Let's not forget oil. The NO BLOOD FOR OIL banners, which were seen everywhere before Shock & Awe, represented real concerns. Consider Iraq's new oil law - a provision which the U.S. State Department helped draft in 2006 - and its oily implications. The law allows for 63 of Iraq's 80 major oil fields to be under the control of American, British and Dutch companies. The law provides for a 30 year period in which no taxes or fees of any kind shall be levied on the oil taken by foreign companies.

The subject is rarely mentioned. It's a journalistic untouchable and apparently unprintable in mainstream media circles.

Whenever you have a quiet moment and ponder the reason why we went blasting into a weak nation, you have to dismiss the WMD story. Also, you can doubt Hatch's loose talk about Israel - who sent neither soldiers nor aid of any kind to the coalition cause.

But oil. Hmmm. Before the war, Iraq owned 100% of the oil under its soil. Now, by their own law, they have only about 22%.

Whose oil is it? Well, it's not theirs and it's not ours. It's Exxon's, Chevron's and British Petrol's.

It's all so simple.

DEPLETED URANIUM, ONE MORE COVER-UP

Last May, this blog pointed out the seriousness of DU being used in Iraq. In the elapsed year, you've heard no details from KDXU or The Spectrum - they haven't bothered to inform you.

Whistles ought to be blowing and alarms sounding because the damage has been going on since the first Gulf War. Our military uses depleted uranium in bombs and shells because DU's density allows it to penetrate armor. The problem is that it strickens and sickens both the target and the user. Iraq is a wide depository of DU, with more than a thousand tons of the internationally banned hazard used in the last six years.

IT'S A SCREAMING DISASTER.

Why is there no discourse about eminent scientist Leuren Moret's assertion that, "Depleted uranium is the definitive cause of the Gulf War Syndrome?"

Terry Jamison, Public Affairs Specialist of the Office of Veterans' Affairs, reports the number of Gulf War veterans now on medical disability, since 1991, is 518,739. Out of the 580,000 soldiers who served in the first Gulf War, 11,000 are now dead. By the year 2000, there were 325,000 on permanent disability, 56% of those who served. Those numbers are far beyond the figures from other wars.

Does anyone care? Is depleted uranium in the same compartment of the American mind as sodium fluoride, mercury, cell phone radiation, aluminum, and obesity? Yawn.

It's all so simple.

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Meetings & Events

A local pessimists club is now organizing. Call 668-0124. Those interested are urged to join before it's too late.

Personals

Cell phone cowboy is looking for a roaming companion. Call 668-0124

Overheard at Slippery Slope Saloon

"The Myanmar government refuses to let U.N. workers in to help victims of
the cyclone. Pardon me but that reminds me of the Bush administration's refusal to allow thousands of Cuban doctors into Louisiana to aid victims of Katrina. Let's have another round of drinks."

Thoughts While Out To Lunch

Any day now Ann Coulter will traipse back to Iraq and write about how swell things are going. That's the way it is with the cigarette and chardonay gal.

Help Wanted

No help wanted.

PEACEFUL AMERICANS - THAT WAS THEN

Once upon a time, Americans were more peace-loving and peace-making. They had been sickened by World War One and took action to prevent, avoid and stay out of wars. Disarmament became a concept for preserving peace. The U.S. was easily the mightiest force on the seas in the 1920s, President Warren Harding (a Republican) approved of Secretary of State Charles Evans Hughes' plan to join with England, France, Italy and Japan to contain the size of their fleets. In America's case, it meant significant reductions. Many people in Japan and England were astounded that Americans would relinquish such a military advantage.

The agreement was signed in 1922. Each nation was limited in the number of each type of ship and the firepower on the deck. The U.S. had to sink many ships. Much of this was done as target practice in the Pacific Ocean.

It's hard to imagine a nation and its people demonstrating so much sincere desire to reduce the threat of war. We should be proud of those Americans who invented such a plan and kept to its provisions in good faith.

The British and the Japanese were less impressive, however, and were soon increasing firepower as well as conniving ways around the agreements. Japan actually denounced the treaty after a few years.

Maybe again, someday and with more sincerity. Both money and lives would be saved.

It's all so simple.
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Overheard at Only The Lonely

"McCain should pick Condi Rice for veep. He'd be playing the race card and gender card in one stroke. He's already got the geezer vote."

"My uncle was middle class, but he was real modest about it."

"It's easy to find a job in southern Utah, however, you need two of them to make ends meet, three to buy a home, and four to consider getting married. Health insurance is not in the picture."

CONSPIRACIES

You probably enjoy friends who have diverse opinions. I have a few who think everything that moves is a conspiracy and others who think conspiracies are only for delusional whackadoos. Still others believe in conspiracies once in a while.

President Franklin Roosevelt claimed that in politics, nothing happens that is not a conspiracy.

Was the international Communist movement a monolithic conspiracy? Was Judas part of a conspiracy? How about the events in New York on 9/11? The assassination of President John Kennedy is often called a conspiracy. The flood of 20 million illegal immigrants seems to have conspiratorial undertones involving both major political parties and business interests.

If there are no conspiracies, then why does the term exist? Somewhere, someone must have conspired to get the word into the dictionary.

It's all so simple.
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Meetings & Events

The We-Were-Middle-Class support group meets every Wednesday at 7 p.m., on the grassy knoll in Ancestor Square.

Thoughts While Jaywalking

- Today is the anniversary of Newt Gingrich's announcement that HE WILL NOT run for president. Celebrate and be thankful - our system does work.

- A doctor was arrested in northern Utah for over-prescribing drug medications. No kidding? That's a crime? My aunt took six different meds every day. The only one punished was auntie.